What an Indian Wedding can be like from the DJ's Perspective
2019 Wedding Season in the PNW is nearing the end. I have two more receptions in November and that is it for the rest of the year. This summer, I probably Dj’d at 6 Indian Wedding receptions and 3-5 other wedding-related events. One of those weddings was a homie’s in Kansas City and another was a mixed wedding overlooking the Newcastle Golf course in beautiful Snoqualmie, Washington. On top of all of that, I went to four weddings this year as a guest and one of them as a Groomsmen. It is safe to say my single self is over weddings.
“So rather than writing a recap of this summer, I wanted to talk about a specific point when it comes to Indian Weddings: The number of requests a Dj gets during an Indian wedding can be ridiculous, and more often than not, very contradictory…
After DJ’ing for 10 years, I am definitely used to it, but let me explain...”
I DJ’d a mixed wedding in the middle of July where the bride was Punjabi and the groom was Philipino. Before the wedding, I met with the couple and they made it very clear on their music preferences. They wanted bhangra music in the beginning while the parents and older folks were still around. And then as the night progressed, I should start transitioning to 2000s hip hop and EDM. So when it comes to the actual night, I get the same usual back and forth from the crowd… can you turn the music up? Can you turn it down? Why so loud? This is normal behavior at an Indian Wedding. It can be hard to please everyone but I always ensure the sound is leveled appropriately for each phase of the Wedding.
Back to the story… as soon as I start making that transition to hip hop, I get bombarded by a group of Indian aunties wanting more bhangra music. I oblige and play a few bhangra tracks, and then the groom’s brother comes and asks why I changed the Drake track. I explain the situation, and he says don’t listen to them anymore. Just play more hip hop. At this point, I get the uncle of the bride saying, “This is my niece, I need bhangra music.”
The worst are drunk Punjabi guys followed by aunties who claim to be related to the bridal party. On the very worst occasion, I have had to call security at a wedding party to get a few drunk Punjabi ‘Munde’ off the dance floor, and away from me. They were constantly coming up to the booth for requests with drinks in hand. I personally always get nervous when people have drinks around my equipment, so I asked them to back up. They refused, and eventually, security at the venue noticed and they were escorted out of the party. On another occasion, a group of aunties from New Jersey was determined to make sure they get their songs in. Though you might be related to the bride, that doesn’t mean I have to play your request the moment you ask for it.
They will be easy going at the beginning of the night, but then at one point, they will start making hand gestures towards me, trying to indicate that I need to change the song, all while giving the ‘Auntie-Death’ stare.—As a DJ, you can never abruptly change a track in the middle of a song and transition to another song at a different BPM. It will sound terrible and will ruin the flow of the dance floor.—So I try to tell them to wait for a few songs and I will blend it in, but at this point they have built up an attitude and they refuse to dance till their song comes on. 1st song comes on and everyone is dancing, 2nd song comes on and a few of them start dancing but they kind of move away in an attempt to prevent me from seeing them enjoying the song. Then when I play their song, they all are out on the dance floor.
I feel compelled to add an honorable mention to the list... the one uncle with terrible dance moves. This is the uncle who has the worst dance moves and requests the worst songs. They come up for a request but they will not leave the DJ booth until you play that song. I eventually give in and play their song and soon my assumptions are confirmed. Several people stop dancing and this one uncle tries to get his friends to come join him on the dancefloor. After a few of them say yes, he gathers everyone to the dance floor only to drop the most offbeat suspect dance moves. It can almost be hard to watch them dance and see how much coordination they lack. Sooner than later, I change the track to a crowd-pleaser to get the vibe back up and get back on course. I would say 50% of the time, the uncle will stop coming up for requests because they realize they were in the wrong.
At this point, I have set some rules for myself. I will take notice of the bride/groom and whoever are the key family members involved in the party. I will openly and willingly take their requests and try to get them into the rotation as soon as possible. Everyone else that has requests I will try my best to get them in, but to the dumb and contradictory request, your request will go in one ear and out the other. Also, all the people who unnecessarily show attitude… just know that I probably will be less inclined to play your request.
Now you are probably thinking... If the DJ is playing good music, why would people be asking for requests?
I think it comes from a level of entitlement and impatience. People feel like the DJ is obligated to play your requests but for 90% of the guests at the party, it is not your party. If the bride and groom tell me they want XYZ music and your music is ABC. I probably won’t play the ABC, because again it is not your party.
When it comes to an Indian wedding, there are some other factors that go into it. Likely there will be some families that plan to leave after dinner for whatever reason. They come up for a request for the newest song, but I really can’t play the ‘Cuts’ when the bridal party is taking pictures. And I never want to play the same song twice on the same night. I think a lot of people don’t go really go out much and these Indian wedding receptions are big activities for them. Maybe they don’t listen to a lot of music during their day to day, especially music over loudspeakers. I am not really 100% sure and as you can tell I am still trying to figure this out.
95% of the time, when I have to cut the music at the end of the night, I get compliments left and right. People come up asking for my card or ask me my availability for an event they have coming up. I might get a stink eye from that one uncle with the bad dance moves on his way out, but who cares. Though the tone of this post might seem negative, I really wanted this to be a funny read more than anything.
“Overall, I can’t complain… I get to do something I love and I get paid for it. My patience has been tested and my customer service skills have only gotten better from it. ”